Labyrinth

Things turned out to be very complicated lately exactly just like the labyrinth above.
It looks like a maze where there's only a single path to reach the center.
There are 3 spirals and each of them represents one person.
It concerns about relationship and also friendship.
Each affects the other, and the other affects the next,
And the world is full of stories, but the stories are all one.

I wonder why can't friends be honest to each other whenever there's a problem occurred in between.
It doesn't matter who create the problem first but to find a solution and settle it, right?
If both sides refuse to take initiative then the problem will just remained there until it solve.
Don't you feel tired to pretend in front of each other as if there's nothing happen?

It's going to be a hard time when there are so many consequences after the words are said.
I know it sounds easy by just saying it, since I'm not the one who is undergoing all these.
Sorry for not being in the shoe.
There's nothing wrong for being who you are.
Just accept who you are and revel in it.

Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution.
If you don’t have any problems, you don’t get any seeds.

Are there any other option to choose besides lover and enemy for a male & female?
Is it necessary that both of them must choose between one?
There's one more option available which is friend.
But I doubt that not all people will choose that after the confession fails or even breakup.
Perhaps some of you might choose to avoid that particular person after that incident cause it feels awkward when you see each other.
No doubt, you're going to lose a precious friend if that's what you want the ending to be.
The pain of loss can be very intense.
Or perhaps you might already expected what's the outcome going to be after the confession.
Then why not just let it go and and it could be a better ending.

Love is unconditional, if you truly love someone does not mean have to be together as a couple.
But you just want them to be happy and fulfilled whether they are alone or with someone else.
When you really love someone, you will be able to let them go to find their own happiness.
I'm sure my buddy who's leaving for UK soon will agree with what I'm saying over here.
Hope my words here will enlighten those of you who stuck in this labyrinth.
Sacrifice is a part of life. It's supposed to be.
It's not something to regret. It's something to aspire to.

 

Fake hopes from God !

Why are GOD always giving me fake hopes?

It happens since the day I was brought to this world.

Everytime when there's a hope for something,eventually it will just disappeared for some reasons.

All of my hopes only led to the disappointment of myself.

It seems difficult to have what I desired.

Someone told me that God has a better path for me but I don't if see any.

I ain't the only one who doubted that the existence of God.

Since life is so unfair , if God really exist then why does God allowed all this to happen?

So why bother to wait for miracles?

I don't really believe in fate that controls over everything of one's life.

I think I'd be able to change my own destinies instead of following to what is destined like an instruction of computer which have been pre-programmed earlier before born.

Life has never been easy before.

The harder I fight for myself, the harder life fights me back.

Thus,I never bother to demand anything from my parents as the answer is just simply NO.

Might as well as work hard and get it for myself.

At least,I'm contented with things I've earned hard for.

If there's a will,there's a way - quote that inspires my life a lot.

Breaking Dawn.

Was burnin' midnite oil for the coming paper.
And now the dawn is breaking.
Time to go for an early breakfast.
But not Dim Sum anymore.
I'd rather go mamak.
Went for Dim Sum the other day with my roommate.
Well,it was my first time of eating at Kam Ling,Kampar after 3years.
Not a good one though but still edible I guess.
And slightly pricey.
After all,I still prefer those Dim Sum in Ipoh - Foh San, Ming Court and Yoke Fook Moon.
Ipoh food is still the best !

My Final Destination

Struck with sudden fear as I am still awake at this moment where everyone else is sleeping silently and comfortably. The day that we have all been waiting for has arrived. My schedule began with the language paper that pressures me a lot. This would be the one and only chance that I could boost up my grade point as high as possible. There were no other subjects that I could obtain a distinction except for this. Perhaps there is a least chance but I would rather not to take the risk.

I have done enough of mistakes for my past and would not allow the history to repeat once again.My mind recalled back to all my other failures. I admit that my past was never impressive for those who knew me. The test had arrived like within a blink of an eye and I still did not feel prepared for it. There are three more papers waiting ahead of me where the real challenge begins.I felt tired but I can barely close my eyes to sleep.Tonight would be the beginning of my restless mind until I had reach my final destination but definitely this is not my death trip.

There's hope beyond the pain

Received a call this afternoon.
She told me that you ain't coming to me anymore.
It led me to such a huge disappointment.
Been waited for so many days and suddenly you said this to me.
Why there must be a boundary between us?
Why things must be so complicated?
Couldn't it be more simple?
Couldn't wait any longer to see your pretty face.
I know it's only matter of time.
I shall patiently wait upon your arrival.
That's the least I could do for you .

Soup Kambing

Out to Ghany for supper and ordered soup kambing with plain white rice.
This would be my first and also the very last time.
However,it doesn't taste like soup kambing at all and guess what ?
I also found some macaroni inside my bowl of soup. *scratched head*
I was wondering is it those workers in Ghany are eating macaroni with soup kambing and accidentally dropped some into it.
Never mind,just forget bout it since I managed to finished everything as I was hungry and the boss actually gave me some discount after I complaint to him.Lol
Now onwards,I will never ever order any more soup kambing from there.
Once is more than enough.

Procastination

I've been hesitating whether to message her and ask or not.
Should I?
This matter had been bothering me for few nights.
Hardly can fall asleep even when both eyes are closed.
As my mind still have some unclear doubts.
When I closed my eyes,your image appeared.
I had a feeling that somehow she's avoiding from me
Hopefully,that's not true.
If yes,then what's the reason that cause that happen?
Perhaps I'm very annoying.
If she's reading this,I guess it'll be even better.
Sigh.

Peevish

There are many things I wanted to do at this moment.
But too bad I couldn't do it.
Since I got only limited resources are being given to me.
As I know,there won't be any use for whining over here.
Since they don't even view my blog and concern bout me much.
Even if I asked for more,the results that i would get is just the same.
It's better to depend on myself than hoping that they'll support me.
Question yourself,what have you given me after so long?
And do you ever think that is enough for me?
I doubt so.
Cause things I've received from you all are easily countable.
Most of the stuff I had now was hard earned by myself.
Nuff said.

One sided

There's been a question in my mind for so long.
Sometimes I wondered who am I to you.
It gives me a feeling that I'm more like a stranger to you.
If I have a request that is as simple as ABC from you,
It wasn't too much right for fulfilling what I've asked?
Somehow,I wished there's someone be there to pamper me like no one else before.

Leavin'

Maybe she'd be here right now.
I had a lot to say.
Wish I told her how I felt.
But everything might not comes out right.
Just pray you'll have a change of heart.
I know If I could find the right way to open.
Then I get the key to enter deep inside your heart.
And be your crying shoulder whenever you need.
Love being around you.
Feels like it's deep within me.
Time flies but not without you.
What else could I do besides waiting for you?
Although my heart is longing for you.

Somehow,I saw things that I don't wish to see.
A little bit of disappointed though
But no worries cause things stay the same for me.
And I'll still be there like what I used to do.

Mother's Day

Everyone is gonna be celebrating mother's day today except for me.
Why?
Okay, let me tell you for those who doesn't know about my family background.
She left me on the day I was born and went to Heaven.
As I was told by my siblings,the reason that she passed away was due to over bleeding
I had no idea what's the main reason that actually caused her losing her life.
Some of them told me it was because she ate too much of delicacy food.
Another reason was due to me.
Once the witch told my mother's family side that all this misfortune sprung from having an a son who was unlucky and after I being sent away,things would go well with them.
How ridiculous are the reason that they created and it was not scientific at all.
That's totally bullshit to put such a blame on me.
In that case,my family ends up neglecting me as I'm still crying in the baby room of hospital.
Yeah,nobody wants me at all as they know that I'm gonna brings bad luck to them.
NONE of my relatives from mother's side wants to take care of me.
Even my father,himself can be so cruel and heartless for not taking me home.
Why in this world would have such a family like this?
They rather trusting a witch than what a professional said.
I'm part of their family too and they chosen to just dump me like this.
If there's no one adopt me,I would have just began my life in an orphanage.





Thanks a million to my Aunt,without her I'm might just being an another orphan out there.
The little baby of me was taken home by her on the second day and raised like her own child.
Although the real mother of mine had left me but she's like my mother for the past 21years since I was born till now.
I'm glad that you have taken me home or else I wouldn't be here today.
Sorry for being a naughty kid during the past,I know you always cane and scolded me was because you care bout me and love me.


There was once when she fetching me out to somewhere with a motor and during the journey her gold necklace with a jade that she wore since young has been snatched by 2 fella from a motor behind.
We headed back home then,but she never scold me for losing her necklace & jade and just walked off.
I felt so guilty since I'm the one who's asking her to fetch me out and caused this incident to happened.


One early morning when I was sleeping in the living room sofa and I straight lie awake with my both eyes opened ,then I saw the scene where she rolling down from the staircase while carrying her grand daughter down and knocked her head on the wall.
All the way down from the stairs,I saw her was covering her grand daughter with her own body to prevent her from getting any injuries.
My heart was like popped out and I rush to the stairs and see whether she's getting any hurt.
I feel slightly better when i saw her body only have some bruise but nothing else.




This post is mainly dedicate to my dearest Aunt for her uncountable love and care towards me.
Appreciates your loved one while she's still here before you regret.
Happy Mother's Day !!
=]

Nightmare

I had a dream bout her that night.
Anyway,I never dream of her before and that was the first time she appeared in my dream.
Suppose i thought it was a sweet dream for me as she appeared but there was another guy who turn up as well.
I saw her and she introduced me her friend, who's not an ordinary friend but her significant other that have been together for 4years as I still remembered what she said.
I felt very disappointed and heartbroken the moment she said that to me.
Though it was just a dream but it seems like a real one to me.
Believe it a not,I ever had some dreams that came true exactly like what i dreamed.
Those scenes looks familiar as though you have seen it somewhere else before.
I doubt that whether this dream is signify something or trying to give me some hints regarding her.
Give up on her or what?Seriously,I dunno !

I read an article and it says that "Most dreams can be translated and can in fact be the best way to get hints about your future. Dreams can tell us so much if we can remember them or at least the main symbols. Most symbols within dreams are pretty much self explanatory, but not all of them. One of the most common dream theme and what they mean are like to be chased within dreams can signify that you feel you are trapped or running away from fears, memories, people or other aspects of your life."

What do you guys out there think bout the dream I had?

Exquisite sciuridae

I'm so grateful to her for going out dinner with me as I expect that I'm gonna eat all alone by myself today. *wet eyes*
As i thought it would just be a simple dinner but she insisted to eat something better instead of eating opposite my place due to my big day.
Surprisingly,she bought me a slice of cake that doesn't comes with a candle but it doesn't matter cause what she did was more than enough.
Wished to ask her to take a photo together but my lips are like a chamber that had been sealed off hard.
Those words seems so heavy to voice out from my mouth.
Sigh.

.The cake

21

Oh my god,I can't believe that finally I'm 21yrs old at this moment right now.
Sorry le Rocky, since your msg delivered late and couldn't be 1st one who wish me this time.lol.
Anyway,thanks to all those who message me and wrote on my Facebook.
All your warm wishes are greatly appreciated. =]
Woohoo! Now I can officially enter casino and clubs without any worries.
Currently, my heart is giving me an odd feeling that this is gonna be the worst B'day i ever had in my entire life. *Praying that is not gonna happen*
This kind of feelings sucks to the max !
Just can't help it.
Sigh,what to do?Imagine if you are the one being stuck at home alone now and your mind will automatically starts thinking of nonsense.
Hopefully there will be a unforgettable celebration for me after my exam. *Hinting*
For the past 2years here,the most memorable one was the time that I celebrated with her.
Though it was just a very simple dinner with some photo taking session but definitely a meaningful one..

Happy 21st Birthday to myself ! =]

Fcuk off !

That freaking bastard called me and woke me up from sleep just now.
Yes,is YOU !
I got no choice but have to name you as a BASTARD but i guess it suits you well due to what u did.
No matter how you humiliate me ,I'm still standing on my own dignity.
This time things you said to me was going way beyond my boundary.
About my life?
It doesn't concern you anymore from this second onwards and I mean what I've said.
I don't give a damn if you doesn't want to give me anymore financial support.
Without you, is not like I'm going to starve to death.
I'm not as dumb as you think although my academic results are poor but it doesn't mean that my performance are below of those who passed with flying colors.
I've been a obedient boy for so long and now its the right time for me to rebel against you !
Fuck off from my sight cause I don't want to bother things bout you either.
You have no rights to control my life anymore as I'm old enough and officially 21 in the coming three days.
Feel free to go and get laid with your mistress if you had nothing better to do.

Home alone

Mostly I'm gonna be home alone for the coming days in Kampar before my sem break starts.
As usual,I'm always the last one who's leaving the apartment since this is not the first time after all.
My roommate had just left in the morning while I'm still dreaming on my comfy bed.
It was so quiet after he left as i could hear echoes reflecting back to my ears whenever i try to make a sound.
Luckily,I'm not a monophobic person or else I would have just died by suffering during the left over days before exam ends.
Anyone out there willing to be my companion? *winks*

SIGNS

*credit goes to D' for sending me such a brilliant video.









Everything starts from a normal sign.
That's how I get to met u through.
Without it,I might be just ended up staring like the guy in this short film.
I have the guts to approach you just to greet,
But not to express the feelings that are deep within me.
Procrastination keep running circles in my head.
I might have lost chances due to my hesitance.
Someone told me before that chances don't wait for people.
Maybe there's a chance but i just didn't realize it.
Perhaps I should stop being afraid of getting failure.
And grab every single chance i have.





"The best men are not those who have waited for chances, but who have taken them,besieged the chance, conquered the chance, and made the chance their servitor." by E. H. Chapin

Insomnia

Awww,I just can't go to sleep.
Cause it feels like I've fallen for you.
Its getting way too deep.
And I guess I couldn't asleep till you're next to me .

Restless night

Just couldn't sleep at all.
Feels so tired at this moment right now.
But as i closed my eyes,you'll came across my mind.
Seems like you've been all over me like a spell,so mesmerized.
I felt so close to you but you were far away.

Friendship

Have you ever met someone who's willing to cook for you that u have just known for less than a week?
Isn't that sweet if you could found someone who's being so nice to you?
It's better to give out than receive right?I'm sure when that particular day comes its gonna worth it where you can get back your return on how you treated people.
God is so wise that He/She never created friends with a price tag or else i wouldn't afford a precious friend like you.


I admit that I might not be a good friend at times especially when I simply spill out unnecessary words without thinking it properly from my stinky mouth that cause you all of you had angers on me.
I apologize for things that i have done and caused during the past and hope you all can accept my apology.


Time isn't what makes a friendship last.
It's love and devotion that keeps the tie between the souls.
True friends will never be apart,maybe in distance but not in heart.